As I write this article, Israel continues to wage its war against the Hamas terrorists who brutally murdered at least 1200 people and kidnapped hundreds more. We are witnessing traumatic events that are terrifying and overwhelming us. Tensions are high in Jewish communities around the world. The genocidal terrorist attacks by Hamas have fueled global antisemitism and the glorification of terrorism. We are seeing anti-Israel rallies with hateful chants on our streets and attacks against Jewish people and their institutions. Jewish-owned businesses are being targeted. Jewish students on campuses are being demonized, bullied and attacked. Like many Jewish people, I am feeling vulnerable, anxious, afraid, sad and angry by what is happening to my brothers and sisters in my beloved state of Israel and to Jewish people around the world. I have family and friends in Israel and worry about their safety. I also worry about my children and grandchildren’s safety as they go about their activities of daily living.

I find myself thinking more and more of my parents who are Holocaust Survivors. They were interned in the Lodz Ghetto, Auschwitz and other slave labor camps for five years where they endured starvation, beatings, disease, grueling slave labor, the murder of their families, and the loss of their possessions and communities. Everything that was familiar to them was taken away. So, they had to reinvent themselves into a new way of being and live in a new reality. How does someone do that in such horrendous conditions? What internal resources do they tap into to accomplish this? How did they adapt to their new environment? What helped them to survive?

A key factor was their ability to sustain hope. Trauma can rob us of hope and make us feel hopeless about the future. Keeping hope alive on a day-to-day basis is crucial to our well-being. Resilience-based research validates this coping strategy and lists hope as a protective factor that can mitigate stress. In other words, keeping hope for a better future alive makes us resilient.

Most of the hundreds of survivors of genocide I’ve worked with have told me they didn’t lose hope during the darkest of times. They kept it alive by talking about it with their fellow slave labourers, doing everything within their power to stay alive and realizing the preciousness of life. People with hope in their hearts can find a way to cope with difficult life events.

Many of us, the daughters and sons of Holocaust survivors have inherited our parents’ faith in life and hope for the future by virtue of our birth. Our birth in the displaced persons camps in Germany after the war was the highest birthrate per capita in the world. My parents and other survivors said their greatest satisfaction in the camps was seeing the numerous baby carriages because they affirmed our parents’ survival and hope for the future.

Let me be clear. I am not equating the Israeli war with the Holocaust, although there are aspects of the brutal Hamas massacre that are reminiscent of the descriptions of atrocities I have heard from survivors – randomly shooting innocent people, babies riddled with bullets, bodies burned alive, homes burned, women raped and hostages taken.

I believe Holocaust survivors have important lessons to teach us about actions we can take to cope with the chaotic events we are witnessing and experiencing right now.

In my discussion below, I use HOPE as an acronym. Each letter of the word focuses on ways we can nurture it based on the experiences of Holocaust survivors.

H – The H stands for “heart-warming activities.” Even in the darkest of times, Holocaust survivors found moments of happiness. They celebrated birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions in secrecy, sometimes at great risk to themselves. They chanted prayers, sang songs from their youth, told jokes and shared memories of happy times with their family and friends. Some even developed a sense of humor. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor describes training a friend in Auschwitz to develop a sense of humor as a way to rise above the situation. They also practiced acts of kindness by supporting each other, sharing their meager food rations and standing in for each other on work duty when someone was sick. These activities sustained them and gave meaning and purpose to their lives.

In Israel’s war with Hamas, people are telling me they are feeling guilty for having a good time and/or participating in pleasurable and meaningful activities because the people of Israel are suffering. I encourage them to see Holocaust survivors and the people of Israel as their role models. Israelis are getting married, having babies and celebrating Bar/Bas mitzvahs, birthdays and holidays. They teach us that life goes on, despite their feelings of grief, sadness and anxiety. They remind us to give ourselves permission to take in as many good moments as possible under new circumstances. Consider doing the same.

So, how do you fill your lives with pleasurable and meaningful activities during the Israeli war? What makes your life worth living? What’s working well for you? What makes you happy and gives you pleasure? It’s important to balance our lives with beliefs and activities that nourish our spirit and give our lives meaning and purpose.

Identify the activities that allow you to take in the good moments. This can include spending time with family and friends who calm you, listening to music, dancing, cooking, helping others, appreciating the kindness of people, painting, writing, playing with your children, grandchildren and pets. Notice, savor and enjoy them. Enjoy these micro-moments of happiness called “glimmers” by Deb Dana, a trauma specialist.

O – The O is being “open-minded” and willing to learn new skills such as becoming aware of our thoughts and feelings, making decisions, taking action and keeping our hope alive. The goal is to adapt and tap into new coping skills that demonstrate we are still in control of our lives.

And that’s exactly what my mother and other Holocaust survivors did. My mother made everyday choices to control her thoughts and environment. She tried to keep a positive attitude and not dwell on her suffering. She persevered and was determined to never give up, not even when her entire family was deported to their deaths and she was left alone in the Lodz ghetto. She cried herself to sleep each night, and then in the morning she put her energies into staying alive by going to the factory where she made straw boots for German soldiers.

How do we maintain control when it comes to the current situation and there is so much uncertainty and many things are out of our control? We can do four things. The first is to be aware of our thoughts and feelings:

• Live in the present moment, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
• Replace negative thoughts with hopeful ones for a better future., e.g. “The people of Israel are resilient and will rebuild. They always do.” “Their strength, courage and resilience encourages me not to lapse into fear.”
• See yourself through a resilient lens and say: “I can handle this,” “I’m coping with this situation to the best of my ability,” “I’ve got this because I can do hard things.” Both your pain and suffering and coping skills exist side by side.
• Give yourself permission to feel sad and grieve your losses. Cry when you need to. Research is finding that crying releases endorphins, the body’s feel-good hormones and eases both physical and emotional pain.
• Realize your limitations and tell yourself: “it’s ok not to be ok.” In so doing, you are practicing self-compassion and having patience for your process.
• Focus on three positive experiences to be grateful for as your day ends.

The second is to be consciously aware of the decisions you make and activities you engage in that confirm you are in control of your life. For example, what time do you wake up? What are your plans for the day? Do you dress or stay in your pajamas and loungewear? Do you exercise and if you do, what type? Do you call, text or email someone? What will you eat for breakfast, lunch, supper? Do you cook or order in? When you begin to think this way, you discover there are numerous decisions you make during the day that show you are in charge.

The third thing you can do is take action, no matter how small to support the people of Israel and fight antisemitism in your neighborhood and city:

• Volunteer your services.
• Educate yourself and others about the historical facts of the war.
• Move beyond your fears and limits and know you are fighting the good fight, not only for Israel and the Jewish people but also for humanity and democracy.
• Attend rallies, post flyers of the hostages and sign petitions to government officials who condemn Israel.
• Let your network know how you are feeling. Reach out to your non-Jewish friends to let them know how they can support you. Thank them when they do.
• Speak out against Jewish hatred on social media.
• Embrace your Jewish identity by practicing Jewish rituals such as baking challah, lighting Shabbat candles and wearing your Magen David necklaces and bracelets in public, if you feel comfortable.
• Subscribe to weekly briefings and activist newsletter at UJA.

The fourth thing you can do is identify the simple things you are doing on a day-to-day basis that shows you are keeping your hope alive: Practice “hope scrolling” on your social media platforms:

• Public expression of support and solidarity with the people of Israel can appease our fears and anxiety and bring comfort.
• Be grateful for the countries and people around the world supporting Israel and our Jewish people.
• Countries around the world are assisting with emergency relief.
• Many different communities are coming together to support Jewish businesses that are being boycotted by antisemitic hate mobs.
• Police surveillance at rallies and vigils. Mobile police units in Jewish areas. Remind yourself this is not Nazi Germany where no one had our backs.
• It’s important to find hope for yourself and share it with each other to create a ripple effect of hope that travels from person to person.

P – The P stands for the “preciousness of life.” Over and over again I hear from survivors they were determined to survive because of their belief that life is precious. In the words of Mrs. K, a survivor from Siberia: “I never gave in. I was always an optimist. My spirit was not broken. I never gave up, not when I was hungry; not when I was freezing cold. I never gave in.”

Many survivors did everything within their power to stay alive. Mrs. A., a survivor from Romania and Mrs. B. from Hungary, both Auschwitz survivors, said they survived because they ate whatever they were given, no matter how bad it tasted. Mrs. B. describes eating food with earth and worms and sharing it with her bunkmates in Auschwitz. They closed their eyes and ate it because they were determined to survive. Another Auschwitz survivor said she made up her mind to “do about everything for survival.” She tried to keep as clean as possible and keep up her strength.

When we believe that life is precious, we do what it takes to take care of ourselves. One of the things we can do is to practice self-care by living a healthy lifestyle:

• Start your day with a ritual practice to anchor and protect you against stress throughout the day: listen to calming music and/or hum or sing to yourself; practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, yoga, tai chi; meditate; pray; read inspirational literature, etc.
• Take care of yourself. You have to be in good shape to cope with this catastrophe. Move your body, eat healthy foods, stay hydrated, sleep when you can. Do something special for yourself. Limit alcohol and avoid drugs and other substances.
• Take a break from the news. Watching the tragic events on the news can be addictive and affect your physical and psychological health and increase your stress level. If you’re feeling depressed by the headlines, check the news once or twice a day and not before you go to sleep because it may impact on your ability to fall or stay asleep.

E – The E stands for “engagement.” Connect with people who matter the most to you; family and friends you can trust and who have a calming effect on you. During the Holocaust, people continued to form connections and interact with each other, despite the death and chaos around them. They formed surrogate families where they established trusting relationships and supported each other. My mother referred lovingly to her “lager svester,” or concentration camp sisters who supported each other. When she had gall bladder attacks in the camps, her lager svester refused to send her to the hospital because they knew she would be sent to her death. Instead, they took care of her and stood in for her on work duty. My mother sustained these relationships throughout her life.

Find ways to stay connected with family and friends by telephone, digitally or on social media. Have lighthearted discussions. Use humor. Tell jokes. Sing songs. We all cope better with life’s challenges when we are not alone to face them. Accept your vulnerability and ask for help from family and friends when needed. Speak with your health care provider and/or turn to social service agencies in your community for assistance when your anxiety levels exceed your ability to cope.

What is the takeaway from this article?

We are witnessing traumatic events in Israel that are terrifying and overwhelming us, resulting in chronic stress levels. As important as it is to give ourselves the permission to feel our feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, overwhelm and process them, we must not let this war destroy our hope for the future. This is the message I hear over and over again in my work with Holocaust survivors. Many mustered their courage and strength to live through their horrendous experiences and never lost hope they would survive and rebuild their lives. They maintained their hope, not by being passive observers to what was happening around them. They were active participants in their determination to take action on a day-to-day basis, no matter how small and in so doing kept their hope alive that they would survive. And that’s exactly what many of us are doing during the Israeli war, one day at a time because we’ve got this!