As we approach the one-year anniversary of the outbreak of the coronavirus pandemic, I find myself thinking more and more of my parents who are Holocaust Survivors. They were interned in the Lodz Ghetto, Auschwitz, and other slave labor camps for five years where they endured starvation, beatings, disease, grueling slave labor, and the loss of their families, possessions, and communities. Everything that was familiar to them was taken away. So they had to reinvent themselves into a new way of being and live in a new reality. How does someone do that in such horrendous conditions? How do they maintain hope for an uncertain future? What internal resources do they tap into to accomplish this? How did they adapt to their new environment? What helped them to survive? 

A key factor was their ability to sustain hope for a better future on a day-to-day basis. Resilience-based research validates this coping strategy and lists hope as a protective factor that can mitigate stress. In other words, keeping hope for a better future alive makes us resilient. 

I have inherited my parents’ faith in life and hope for the future by virtue of my birth. My birth and the birth of thousands of children in the displaced persons’ camps in Germany after the Second World War was the highest birthrate per capita in the world, affirming our parents’ belief in and hope for the future.

Let me be clear. I am not equating this pandemic with the Holocaust. However, I believe that Holocaust Survivors have important lessons to teach us about actions we can take to cope with it. 

In my discussion below, each letter of the word HOPE focuses on ways we can nurture it based on the experiences of Holocaust Survivors. 

H – stands for heart-warming activities. Even in the darkest of times, Holocaust Survivors found moments of happiness that made their hearts sing. They celebrated birthdays, holidays, and other special occasions in secrecy, sometimes at great risk to themselves. They chanted prayers, sang songs from their youth, told jokes, and shared memories of happy times with their family and friends. Some even developed a sense of humor. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, and Holocaust Survivor describes training a friend in Auschwitz to develop a sense of humor as a way to rise above his situation. Survivors also practiced acts of kindness. They supported each other, shared their meager food rations, and stood in for each other on work duty when someone was sick.  These activities sustained them and gave meaning and purpose to their lives.

So how do we fill our lives with meaningful activities during this pandemic? Psychiatrist Dr. Allen Frances, says, “People have to start planning their next several years in a way that doesn’t have them constantly anxious and sad and regretting what’s been lost, but rather find the most in each day under these new circumstances.” He suggests doing the things you enjoy the most and filling our days with as many good minutes as possible, “the things that make life worth living.”

So what makes your heart sing? What makes you happy and gives you pleasure? It’s important to balance our lives with beliefs and activities that nourish our spirit and give our lives meaning and purpose. Identify the activities that make the hours fly by quickly – the type of activity that engulfs you as its captive audience. Be playful, have fun, laugh, cook, listen to music, help others, paint, write, etc. 

O – encourages us to be open-minded and willing to try new ways of being such as being optimistic about the future, especially hard to do in tough times when we are faced with unexpected challenges beyond our control and coping ability. During these times we have two choices. We may fall into a state of “learned helplessness” where we believe we have no control of changing or controlling our situation, or we can adapt and tap into new coping skills that show us we are still in control of our lives. It can be as simple as accepting the situation after we’ve done everything within our power to change it. In so doing, we show ourselves that we are still in charge. 

And that’s exactly what my mother and other Holocaust Survivors did. My mother made everyday choices to control her thoughts and environment. She had a positive attitude and never dwelled on her suffering. She persevered and never gave up, not even when her entire family was deported to their deaths and she was left alone in the Lodz ghetto. She cried herself to sleep each night and in the morning put her energies into staying alive by going to the factory where she made straw boots for German soldiers. She was determined to survive!

So how do we maintain control when it comes to the pandemic and there is so much uncertainty and many things are out of our control? We can be aware of decisions we make and activities we engage in that confirm we are in control of our lives. For example, what safety precautions are we taking to protect ourselves and our families? What are our goals for the day? How are we spending our free time? Will we call, text or email someone? When we begin to think this way, we discover the numerous daily decisions we make that show we are in charge.

P – stands for the preciousness of life. Over and over again I hear from survivors that they were determined to survive because of their belief that life is precious. In the words of Mrs. K, a survivor from Siberia: “I never gave in. I was always an optimist. My spirit was not broken. I never gave up, not when I was hungry; not when I was freezing cold. I never gave in.”

Many survivors did everything within their power to stay alive. Mrs. A., a survivor from Romania, and Mrs. B. from Hungary, both Auschwitz survivors, said they survived because they ate whatever they were given, no matter how bad it tasted. In the book, Preserving Our Memories: Passing on the Legacy, Mrs. B. describes eating food with earth and worms and sharing it with her bunkmates in Auschwitz. They closed their eyes and ate it because they were determined to survive. Another Auschwitz survivor said that she made up her mind to “do about everything for survival.” She tried to keep as clean as possible and keep up her strength.

When we believe that life is precious, we do what it takes to take care of ourselves. One of the things we can do is to practice self-care by living a healthy lifestyle:

• Start your day with a ritual practice to anchor and protect you against stress: listen to calming music and/or hum or sing to yourself; practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, yoga, tai chi; meditate; pray; read inspirational literature, etc.

• Practice the basics of well-being: Move your body, eat healthy foods, stay hydrated, get enough sleep, etc.

E – stands for engagement. Connect with people who matter the most to you. During the Holocaust, people continued to form connections and interact with each other despite the death and chaos around them. They formed surrogate families where they established trusting relationships and supported each other. My mother referred lovingly to her “lager svester,” or concentration camp sisters who supported each other. When she had gall bladder attacks in the camps, her lager svester refused to send her to the hospital because they knew she would be sent to her death. Instead, they took care of her and stood in for her on work duty. My mother sustained these relationships throughout her life.

Find ways to stay connected with family and friends by telephone, digitally, or on social media. Have lighthearted discussions. Use humor. Tell jokes. Sing songs. Create a support network with people who mean the most to you. We all cope better with life’s challenges when we are not alone to face them. Accept your vulnerability and ask for help from family and friends when needed. Speak to your doctor and/or turn to social service agencies in your community for assistance when your anxiety levels exceed your ability to cope.  

So what is the takeaway from this article? 

We have experienced many losses during this pandemic resulting in chronic stress levels. As important as it is to give ourselves the permission to feel our feelings of sadness, anxiety, overwhelm and process them, we must not let this pandemic destroy our hope for the future. This is the message I hear over and over again from Holocaust survivors. Many mustered their courage and strength to live through their horrendous experiences and never lost hope they would survive and rebuild their lives. They maintained their hope, not by being passive observers to what was happening around them. They were active participants in their determination to take action, no matter how small, and in so doing kept their hope alive that they would survive. And that’s exactly what many of us are doing during the pandemic, one day at a time because we’ve got this!